Snowing in March.

March 1st 2012 and its snowing outside. We couldn't get a white Christmas, but yet we have a white spring. You have to love Utah weather. Utah weather matches much of how I feel. So different from one moment to the next. I know I must sound crazy at this point, but I assure you I'm not completely insane. (at least not yet)

There is so much that scares me in life. I know that "change" is good for you most of the time. I am able to adapt to "change" most of the time, but... Most of the time "change" scares the hell out of me!

 “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the 

courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide  

Yet the hardest thing is letting go of that shore, that comfortable feeling, the things that we know and understand and venturing out to find "change" or letting someone "change" the world for you. Everyone can come up with an abundance excuses, lack of time, lack of money, lack of effort. All excuses are lack of something. Even if you convince yourself that you are comfortable and don't need "change". Here is a quote to look passed some of the lack-there-of's.

“That which we manifest is before us; 

we are the creators of our own destiny. 

Be it through intention or ignorance, 

our successes and our failures have been 

brought on by none other than ourselves.” 

Garth Stein "The Art of Racing in the Rain"

 

 For me, right now, the biggest "change" I fear is in relationships. I am trying so hard to be ok with the "change" from men who don't care and only want one thing from you to a man who is genuine and actually cares about my heart instead of my body.  That is great you say? Then why the hell does it scare the hell out of me? Ponderous.