Lost Time and Fairytales..

       Audree is almost 6 years old. 6! Where has the time gone? What has happened to my little chunky baby that loved MiMi's (binkies) and snuggles with Mommy. She will be starting First grade this fall and riding the bus all by herself... FIRST GRADE?! Oh man.. 

       Right now her favorite consist of: Pink, Music, and Dancing. She doesnt have a favorite song at the moment but she does know just about every song on the radio... The other night she was sitting in the bathtub and all you could hear is "BABY YOUR A FIRE WORK... SHOOTING ACROSSED THE SKY-Y-Y-Y" from Katy Perry. She has so much personality it is crazy and she is so smart. I am blessed to have such a wonderful Daughter.

         Some other big news in the Life of Marika... I am ENGAGED.. Yes that is right, you don't have to rub your eyes or pinch yourself to see if you are dreaming. I didn't stutter or mistype... Kody and I got engaged over Memorial weekend while camping at Strawberry. Three days of no make-up, no shower, and no clue from my part. I had just started the campfire when Audree came and asked me "Mom, will you marry Kody?" Not thinking anything about it really, I said "Sure I would." Next thing I know Kody is down on on e knee... The first words out of my mouth were "Seriously? Camping?!" Ok so it wasn't my greatest speech ever, but I was definitely caught off guard!

        The big day is October 11, 2012.  10/11/12. Clever I know. With both of our birthdays on a 11, we might as well keep the theme. 90 days from now. I have things nailed down for the most part. We are getting married at the Garden's at Dry Creek in Lehi. Its a pretty out door place with lots of ponds and cute gardens. Hopefully the weather will hold.  My dress is amazing, its beautiful and fits perfect, however I can not post any pictures yet due to Kody not being able to see the dress til the day of :).  There is still so much left to do, but I am not worried that I will have it all completed in 3 months!

    Well there are the updates from my life for now.. I will try to be better at typing more often.

Much love!

Easter Bunny Lives in the Desert.

Every year, since as far as I can remember, my family does Easter while camping somewhere in the desert. Recently its been at "Little Moab" on the West side of Utah Lake. We spend the whole weekend around a camp fire and the Easter Bunny usually visits. Those memories to me are priceless.

This year we had a large crowd, it was a nice change. Aside from my family (Mom, Dad, Annika, Audree and I) we had Chase, Annika's boyfriend, his Mom and Step Dad, younger brother, Marcus and his younger sister, Alexis, and of course Kody (my boyfriend).  The kids had a blast running around in the sunshine and it was nice to have more than just Audree at the Easter egg hunt!

 

Life = Chaos = Amazing = Happy

Life = Chaos = Amazing = Happy

My life has dodged in so many directions lately and to be honest I wouldn't have it any other way.  I am now working for an Attorney's office in Salt Lake. Its straight chaos, but its less than working for Animal Control. I miss the animal world, but not the people or stress that came with it.

I have been a homeowner for one whole year! I have recently refinanced and am still in boxes, but the beauty of it is that I don't have to move this year!  I am finally starting to work on my fence and my yard and am hoping to have it finished or mostly finished this month.

Kody and I have been dating for almost two months now, and things are going great! He has been so support of me when my life blows me all over. We have been riding a lot lately and its nice to spend the sunny afternoons at the barn by his side. We got a new puppy after we put Vinny down. His name is Cash, he is an Aussie. He is now 8 weeks old. He has been a great dog so far, I hope that we get to spend many years together. 

Audree is growing up so fast, it breaks my heart to think that she is almost 6 years old! She has gotten in to riding horses and going to the barn. I think she likes to just be in the dirt around the animals more than she likes to actually ride.. She is such a beautiful soul. I am one lucky mother :)

Here is to new beginnings...

A lot is going to change in the near future. I quit my job. Yes, You read that correctly. I quit my job. I was offered a job at Wall & Wall, an attorney's office, and I could not let it pass me by. I will be a Paralegal. I start March 21, 2012.  I am very excited! Especially to be able to dress up every day instead of this awful uniform.

I have been faced with the decision of putting Vinny down. He has an appointment Saturday. I didn't think it would happen this fast. I hope that he finds himself in a better place, pain free, with plenty of cats to chase and play with.

Sorry this one is short.. My mind has escaped outside in to the sunshine, I haven't gotten a thing done today with this beautiful weather!

Snowing in March.

March 1st 2012 and its snowing outside. We couldn't get a white Christmas, but yet we have a white spring. You have to love Utah weather. Utah weather matches much of how I feel. So different from one moment to the next. I know I must sound crazy at this point, but I assure you I'm not completely insane. (at least not yet)

There is so much that scares me in life. I know that "change" is good for you most of the time. I am able to adapt to "change" most of the time, but... Most of the time "change" scares the hell out of me!

 “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the 

courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide  

Yet the hardest thing is letting go of that shore, that comfortable feeling, the things that we know and understand and venturing out to find "change" or letting someone "change" the world for you. Everyone can come up with an abundance excuses, lack of time, lack of money, lack of effort. All excuses are lack of something. Even if you convince yourself that you are comfortable and don't need "change". Here is a quote to look passed some of the lack-there-of's.

“That which we manifest is before us; 

we are the creators of our own destiny. 

Be it through intention or ignorance, 

our successes and our failures have been 

brought on by none other than ourselves.” 

Garth Stein "The Art of Racing in the Rain"

 

 For me, right now, the biggest "change" I fear is in relationships. I am trying so hard to be ok with the "change" from men who don't care and only want one thing from you to a man who is genuine and actually cares about my heart instead of my body.  That is great you say? Then why the hell does it scare the hell out of me? Ponderous. 

 

 

Life as we know it

So here I sit at work.. bored again.. Daydreaming which I so often do. I'm waiting for 5 o'clock to roll around so I can blast out of here and meet Kody at the barn to go ride.

Ah yes, so much I haven't written about. The two important things in the sentence above that I have not discussed yet: Kody my boyfriend, (still feels weird using the "B" word) and Otie my horse. There is the saying "I've got my horse, I've got my dog, I dont need a cowboy" which is what I used to believe. However, my saying is now, "I've got my horse, I've got my dogs, I've got my daughter, but it is sure nice having a cowboy too."

Kody and I have been friends for a long time. Since we were 14 in fact. When I first learned how to ride I learned from an amazing gentleman named Noel Skinner. I learned everything I know about horses from this kind man. Through out that summer of my life, I met his grandchildren Mackenzie and Kody. I was not initially accepted as part of their group, but quickly we became inseparable.  As the story goes, I fell in love with Kody. I fell hard. All though out high school, I chased him around. After high school, he chased me around. We have been on and off, near and far, friends and more. The last time we tried, I talked myself out of it. I was convinced that he would always love me more than I him, I was convinced that him being so caring, devoted, honest, and loving was a bad thing. I was afraid of someone that would go to the end of the world for me.  So I called things off and continued in my journey of dating every type of asshole you could possibly date. I chased boys that only wanted one thing, I chased boys that lied, I chased boys that cheated. Kody and I always kept in touch, our philosophy was that we would rather be friend than nothing at all. Oddly I couldn't help but feel a small ping of jealousy when I'd see him with other girls. I'm sure he felt the same towards me. So one night, while I was staying up way to late watching Criminal Minds, I got a text from him asking what he did wrong with us. I didn't know how to respond. I sat and thought about it and came to the conclusion it was my fault. I was afraid. I had my guards up. I wasn't ready.  So here we are, trying it all again. This time, we aren't young, we aren't afraid, and we aren't far apart. I have to say, I am still shaking in my boots with fear, but it's nice to have someone there for you and that loves you for who you are.

Another thing that's great about Kody, is that he inspires me to ride more than I have in years. I love riding, it makes me whole. It makes me feel so alive. Even if its just a 5 minute ride around the arena or a 5 hour ride up a mountain. I love that I have someone to share that with.

My horse, Little Whiz Otie, has such potential. We raised him out of my show mare Josie. He is stunning and talented. Although he is pretty green and has a lot to learn. We will see if we can make it to the big leagues if I can stay dedicated. I have dreamed about this for years, it just seems like every time I try to work at it I loose sight. Things in life happen and I get down and when I'm down I don't ride. Kody is great because he takes me a long and gives me an excuse to ride. We'll see how things go :)

The best worst dog ever..

I have not moved from my desk for approximately 3 hours. So I have decided it is time to write more.

The heaviest thing on my mind at the current moment is the declining health of my Pit Bull "Vinny Man".

Some back ground on Vinny. He is a beautiful blue and white Pit Bull. I had adopted him from my shelter in West Jordan in September of 2010. Vinny was my first abuse case, being kenneled for the first 11 months of his life with no interaction. We had him for approximately a  month after that in our quarantine kennels. He was a mess, his white was far from white and everyone else deemed him "scary" looking.  I fell instantly in love with him. I spent that month making sure he had an extra fluffy blanket and an extra cookie in the morning. A few weeks before Vinny was released from quarantine pending the owner releasing his rights to him, I had to put my German Shepherd Zuka down due to a pancreatic problem. The day that Vinny was available for adoption we ran out of space to keep him available to the public. I was faced with the decision to take him home or let the shelter put him down.  Of course my tender heart couldn't let that happen...

A few months ago he developed a bump on the very top of his spine. The first time I took him to see Doc (Dr Anderson at Southeast Valley Veterinary Clinic - my old place of employment) we decided that it was most likely a cyst from an injury. Vinny likes to rough house with my parents dog. Doc said that if it was indeed a cyst it should go away on its own. Slowly Vinny became more and more like Quasimodo. This lump didn't seem to effect him in any way, not neurologically and didn't seem to be painful. Then Saturday morning, I had been staying with my parents dogs while they were out of town, and Vinny came inside unable to use his hind leg. I panicked, but again he didn't seem painful, it just dangled there like he had no control over it. Again, we went to go see Doc. This time we xrayed his back and with in 30 seconds of the image loading on the computer screen Doc gave me the news I had been dreading. Vinny has a spinal tumor that is growing between his disks, because of its placement, it was inoperable. Doc suggested a biopsy to see what type of tumor we were dealing with.

Monday morning I dropped Vinny off for a biopsy. Now we just wait the results.

 All of this has been extremely hard on me, yet some how Vinny still has a silly smile on his face and wags his tail. Its hard to think that I wont be able to spend 10+ years with such an amazing animal. I am not going to make any drastic decisions until he doesn't smile anymore, until then, keep Vinny Man in your thoughts. Such as rough start to life, at least the last year and a half have been better.